In Jesus’ time, the nation of Israel was under Roman rule. The Israelites were allowed to live there and practice their faith for the most part, but they had to pay taxes to Caesar and obey the Roman laws.
To the Israelites, the Romans were evil and ungodly. They had no place ruling over God’s chosen people in God’s chosen nation. That land had been promised to Moses and his descendants when God brought them out of Egypt. Their very presence in the land was blasphemous.
One of the Roman laws stated that any man could be required to drop what he was doing and carry a Roman soldier’s equipment for him for up to a mile. In the Sermon on the Mount, with his followers gathered around him, Jesus referenced that law and told his followers what they should do in that case:
“If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.” ~Matthew 5:41
Go with them two miles. That was not the advice that most of the people in the crowd that day had been hoping for. That was not the conclusion that they would have come to on their own, following this man that they hoped would lead them to victory over the Romans. That was certainly not respecting their religious beliefs — go with them two! What if their neighbors saw! What if seeing them carrying the Roman’s equipment caused other Jews to think the Roman oppression was okay? What if there was other work that needed to be done — good work, charity work even, but they spent all that time carrying equipment for the evil oppressor? But Jesus is not worried about any of that:
“If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also,” he said. “And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Christians, our Jesus said, “Go with them two.”
If you believe gay marriage is immoral (I don’t, myself) and a gay couple comes into your shop and asks you to bake a cake for their wedding, what should you do? If God causes the sun to rise and the rain to fall on the wedding days of straight and gay couples, then what is our responsibility? If it is against the law to discriminate against people based on their sexual orientation, but you believe strongly that their lifestyle is immoral, what should you do?
Christians, our Jesus said, “Go with them two.”
If you are wondering if it is worth being sued and losing your business to stand up for what you believe is right, if you miss the look of hurt in the couple’s eyes when you refuse them and only see an angry, media-driven, ACLU-led mob attacking the small business owner who is only standing up for what you believe in, what should you do?
Christians, our Jesus said, “Go with them two.”
Jesus said, not only should you follow the law of the land — the law which in America for the most part prohibits discrimination against people because of their sexual orientation — not only should you do the minimum you have to do, you should go the extra mile. (Yes, that’s where that expression comes from!) Do *twice* what the law requires.
If someone forces you to bake a cake for a gay wedding, bake for them two.
Christians, our Jesus said to not only follow the law, but to rise to a higher standard of love. Christians should be the FIRST people baking cakes — for everyone who asks us. We should be known for our cake baking. People should be saying, “There go those crazy Christians again, baking cakes for everyone. They just won’t quit!” Then, when we share the reason for our wild, all-inclusive love, people will want to hear it. “Let your light shine before others,” said Jesus, “that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Christians, when we dig our heels in and insist on our right to discriminate, we are hurting people — we are hurting so many people, so deeply. Behind the ACLU and the liberal media are real people, who have been hurt again and again in the name of Christ. Christians, you and I have hurt them. I know most of us have really good intentions, but we are making Jesus the last thing they want to hear about.
If we “snatch one person from the fire” by refusing to condone behavior we believe is immoral, but send hundreds and thousands of others fleeing churches and Christianity entirely, what have we really accomplished? Someone else will make that cake and fewer and fewer people will look to Christianity for love and hope. We will have won a battle that we were never called to fight in the first place, but lost the war.
*****
Friends, after receiving more than 1500 comments this past week, I’m closing the comments section on this post. I want you to know that I value all of you who took the time to leave a comment, even those who disagreed with me, and especially those on all sides of the issue who vulnerably shared their stories of hurt and healing.
If you would like to read other Christians’ perspective on this issue, or find places for further discussion, I have shared some resources that have been helpful to me here: BFTT follow up and resources.
If you are curious how I came to support gay marriage and full inclusion of LGBT Christians in the body of Christ, you can read about that here.
If you have felt rejected or unloved by Christians or the church because of your sexuality or gender identity, please read my post We choose you.
And please check out Faithfully LGBT and their wonderful photo series of LGBT people of faith.
Love,
Jessica
Ten Thousand Places 
“I’m sorry I missed church. I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.” As a Wiccan lesbian with an appreciation for low-brow comedy, this is my favorite refrigerator magnet. However, I have a deep respect for anyone of any religion who truly lives their faith, even when it is not easy. Most faith traditions share a common vision, a world of peace and love, where all humans live in harmony. We may not always agree on the best way to get there, but we hold it as the ultimate goal. When those who profess to follow a god of love instead choose to express hate, I get angry and lose another morsel of hope that we will ever get to that perfect world. When I read something such as this, my faith is again restored. Thank you for your words of wisdom. I hope your brothers and sisters are not too blinded by their own pride and hatred to hear your words. If you have managed to turn even one heart on this matter, you have accomplished a great thing. Thank you and may the brightest of blessings shine on you.
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Thank you for being different but still accepting of others religions!! This is the TRUE American dream! 🙂 Blessings to you!!
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Well said!
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Jessica, I’m not familiar with your blog, but this was shared on a friend’s newsfeed and caught my attention. That having been said, bless your heart! I’m a liberal, lesbian, South Georgia Christian ( jaws off the floor) who has, over and over again, been made to feel that the church has no home for me. Even though I know otherwise and I know my Jesus loves me, it takes a toll. I was raised Pentacostal Church of God and my wife was raised Southern Baptist and the harshness she has experienced has hardened her heart to the church (not Christ, but still). We have toyed with the idea of pursuing a home church, but have let fear keep us at home. I do pray for wider acceptance of gay Christians by the southern Christian community, and I think it’s coming, but this is hope. I also think gay Christians can take the same message from the other side of this story. If they don’t want to bake your big, fat, gay wedding cake, turn that cheek. It isn’t our place to conquer every lost bigot, though we sometimes forget that. Thank you for sharing this, it touched my heart more deeply than I can tell you!
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Katherine, thank you so much for reading and for such a loving, vulnerable comment. So much love to you, sister.
Jessica
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Katherine – I too appreciate your comment, though I take issue at your use of the word “bigot” to characterize someone who would not bake the cake, who in fact may be your brother or sister in Christ. You obviously believe that homosexuality is not a sin, and you may be correct. But believing that homosexuality is sin is not the same as being bigoted towards homosexuals. We need less name calling and more understanding and grace, and as someone who has experienced pain at the hands of the church, I’m guessing you of all people believe that. We need to stop equating disagreement with discrimination and personal convictions with personal hatred. Sometimes they go hand in hand, but many times they do not.
Can you concede that a God loving, humble, and caring person can also make a conscience-driven (but wrong in your opinion) decision to not bake the cake? Can you concede that the decision can also be made in love, so as to not affirm what they believe isn’t God’s best for you? If so, I believe you’re in a great position to help the cause of gay Christians.
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I think this is what I’ve been trying to find the words to express. We call ourselves Christians, but with so many different denominations we can’t all believe identically. Plus, we are in different places on our walk of faith. So, a baker believes s/he cannot bake that particular cake. It is not necessarily based on hatred. Calling that baker a bigot is just being judgmental while claiming higher moral ground. We need to pray for peace and understanding. God knows our hearts. It’s time to let Him speak to them.
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Dear friend, please don’t equate refusing business with “hatred.” They are not the same thing. One can love and respect a person, while at the same time feeling conscience-bound not to support an activity that person participates in. Unless a Christian says they hate you, please do not jump to the conclusion that they do. You wouldn’t want someone accusing you of hate when you never hated them or communicated hatred. Be fair.
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Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing. I hurt for you because of the things you have experienced by people who claim to be Christians. Praying fervently for you on this journey and that you can find a home. I send nothing but love and prayers!
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In the early 90’s, I was part of a group that went dancing each week. We were all single, and everybody danced with everybody. One of the guys in the group got sick and had to be hospitalized. I didn’t know him well, he spoke a different language, but he was a great dancer and often my partner, so I felt close to him anyway. I visited him regularly in the hospital, and his roommate (another guy) was often there. One day everyone was crying when I got to the hospital. They had just been told my friend had pneumonia, but I didn’t understand what that meant. Finally someone explained to me that he had AIDS and pneumonia was essentially the last stage. I was shocked that I actually knew someone who was gay and had AIDS, then I was angry that someone I cared about was dying and no one had bothered to tell me. When I said that to his partner, I was told that they didn’t tell me because they liked me and wanted us to be friends, and they didn’t think we could be if I knew. In truth, at that point in my life, they were right, but I was still insulted to hear him say it and asked him why they thought that. His answer? Because they knew I was a Christian. That answer broke my heart. I told him that of all the people in the world, Christians should be the ones who were the safest to tell and would love them regardless. And in that moment, I believe the Holy Spirit spoke truth through me and to me, and I repented of my sin.
So, yes: “Someone else will make that cake and fewer and fewer people will look to Christianity for love and hope.” And they will find it. But still I maintain that of all the people in the world, Christians – because of what we believe Jesus has done for us – should be offering it. Not because we’re forced to, but because we love because he first loved us.
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I appreciate the fresh viewpoint. I can’t say exactly what I would do in that position. I do believe that a business should have the right to refuse to go against their beliefs. Each person has to decide for themselves. I recently heard of an alternative option. The Christian baker could bake the cake as requested, take the profit and donate it to a charity of their choice. Therefore providing a service but not profiting from it. I thought that was an excellent idea.
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I just wanted to let you know that I came across this posted in my Facebook feed. As someone who was raised in the church and still has a strong sense of personal spirituality (although no longer practicing), I absolutely loved reading this. This is the Jesus I was raised with and the one I feel like no one talks about anymore. His lessons of love and acceptance shaped who I am.
Many Christians probably feel my liberal views are so far from theirs, but I’m pretty certain they stemmed from my religious upbringing in a welcoming, opening and loving church. I always called my tiny congregation Swedish Covenant upbringing pretty “barebones” but I think it was actually quite progressive for what it was. And I think that’s why I don’t have any negative feelings about my personal experiences with Christianity, even as someone who isn’t sure about their Christian status and beliefs as an adult.
Your words took me right back to that feeling of love and acceptance. So refreshing. 🙂
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That’s quite the paraphrase, but I like it. I wish more understood it.
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Reblogged this on Justabitoftime and commented:
Love this.
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Reblogged this on Kittyinaz's Reblog Page and commented:
Love this!!!
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Marriage and all it’s “requirements” is man’s law. God only cares that a couple love one another and help each other become a better person. Sexual Orientation and gender identity are of the flesh. In the Spirit, there is no male or female, only spiritual beings. We
Take on the characteristics when we take on the body. Jesus tried to explain that to his disciples that all were like the angels in heaven so it wouldn’t matter which of the brothers the wife married once they were in heaven because there is no sex or personal relationships as we have here in this realm. A true GLBT person is more evolved and does not take on the characteristics simply because the body says they are of a certain sex or gender. Many people cannot seem to understand that because all we see is what we know here.
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I’m an agnostic (I feel like there isn’t enough evidence to either prove or disprove the existence of a god), and for me, that means that I live my life mostly as an atheist in the sense that I don’t (actively) worship any god or entity, however, I do consider things from different religions I come across, and then decide whether that fits into my worldview and my beliefs about what is right and wrong (and sometimes something might even cause a change in that, or at least makes me think about my beliefs).
I think this blog post is a perfect example of something that I will gladly accept into my beliefs, so thank you for sharing. 🙂
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Would just like to say God loves you and he want’s you to enter heaven. Jesus is waiting for you to accept him as your Lord and Savior before it’s to late. Will pray for you & God bless you ❤
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I know you probably mean this well and all, but to someone who isn’t religious, it is quite insulting if you tell me you’ll pray for me. I’ve made my choice not to be religious, and by saying you’ll pray for me, you are (indirectly) forcing your religion onto me.
I will not accept jesus into my life, at least not at this point in my life where I feel I’m not informed enough and don’t have enough evidence to accept or reject religion.
As said in my initial comment, I will occasionally come across some religious things and I will consider these individual parts and will accept or reject them.
I hope you understand, please think about this before you tell someone you’ll pray for them. 🙂
Live and let live.
I wish you a beautiful wonderful life, regardless of the way you choose to fill it in. 🙂
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Emilee,
I also know you mean well, but I think it would be helpful to do some additional Bible study. Christian faith isn’t about “getting into heaven” –for several reasons. First, it’s not actually biblical but a view that comes from a pagan Greek point of view–Platonism, and Neoplatonism influenced by Gnosticism, which sees this world not as good (though fallen) as God created it, but as the imperfect, flawed creation of a demigod. And, belief in immortality of the soul is in stark contrast with resurrection of the body. The Hebrew understanding of nephesh is that the essence of a person cannot be not really alive without a body of some sort–as we have now or as resurrected (read Paul.) Yes, I know that there are passages that sound as if heaven awaits the faithful on death, but we read them through the lenses of centuries influenced by Dante and Milton.
Jesus is not waiting for anyone to say what I’ve come to call “the magic words” which are so well rehearsed and quickly spoken by buttonhole evangelists, so much as he’s waiting for people to respond to his invitation to live as a citizen of the reign of God in the here and now, trusting that God is not limited by time and will have the last Word. See Revelation 21: a vision of God’s New Creation-a new heaven and a new earth with the heavenly city Jerusalem descended to the earth and where there is nothing to fear. How do you know it’s ever “too late” for God to redeem a person? Is it really any of your business other than to share the beggar’s invitation of telling another beggar where to find bread? Did you ever notice that the kings of the earth–those who trembled at the sight of the slain Lamb of God (He…he…he…was the one we killed?) are also mentioned as those who are present in the end? Why aren’t they in the lake of fire? What if God is truly capable of anything God decides to do–including, somehow, someway, still respecting our free will, bringing us back to God? Perhaps one can ultimately reject God and be left in nothingness. We don’t know. But what sort of a loving God would torture anyone eternally, no matter how much we might think they deserve it? The cross wasn’t about revenge but forgiveness, even for those who didn’t ask for it.
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what about the Jewish bakers and muslim bakers that would not make these same sex marriage cakes? I get very frustrated that only Christian bakers are called out. Do we really believe a Muslim bakery in America would bake this cake?
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As Christians, we are called to represent Christ’s love. That’s it. Christ would not turn these people away and hurt them by doing so. He would meet their needs with a servant’s heart. God bless.
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Why wouldn’t they?
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How is it Christian to say, what about the other who do wrong? Take care of your house first Carol.
Nobody excuses Muslims or Jewish people who discriminate based on religion any more than Christians. It is wrong for anybody to withhold a service based on religion.
Set the example of what is right and pray that others will follow with opened hearts. Saying, my neighbors do it why can’t I, is wrong.
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Hi Mary, please read my post again. My point is not why can they do it and not me but why are Christians the only ones getting slammed over this? You say that no one excuses Muslims or Jews but I have yet to see even one article about any other bakery except Christian bakery’s.
I do not believe that it is discrimination to lovingly refer a customer to another bakery for a gay wedding cake. I understand that you do. And I never use another persons sin or bad behavior to validate mine. I have too many of my own sins to worry about others.
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Why would you allow yourself to be frustrated??? Jesus was not a Muslim, and he was ‘talking’ to the JEWS when he reportedly spoke the words ….this blog called out Christians because in American populations, Christians are still the majority (at least they claim to be)…it was a clarification for those who have not understood why ‘people who call themselves Christian may need to examine their behavior in a different ‘light’. Now, if a Muslim or Jew decided to do a blog and ‘agree’ with the teachings of Jesus as well…so be it.
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Jessica is, i believe, speaking ac a Christian TO OTHER Christians … ’nuff said …
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This comment ignorantly groups all Muslims together. The fact is the majority of stories are about Christian bakers because the majority of bakers in America are Christian, which in turn is the case because the majority of people in American are Christian. We routinely call out those of other faiths for doing things we oppose. Just as many Muslims write religiously-backed arguments against what they see as un-Islamic action by Muslims, this is a Christian religiously-backed argument against what the author sees as un-Christian action by Christians.
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I find it very childish when people use this excuse to justify their discrimination. It truly makes me think you did not even read the article, but instead jumped straight to the comments section. I am an atheist but I thoroughly enjoyed this article and one line in particular jumped out at me:
“Christians, our Jesus said to not only follow the law, but to rise to a higher standard of love.”
What should it matter how Jewish and Muslim people view or treat homosexuals? Everyone on this earth – regardless of religious identity – should strive to be their best and using other examples of bigotry to justify your own is just plain wrong. I’d urge you to read (or reread) the article and genuinely reflect on your own beliefs instead of demonizing others for having the same prejudice as you.
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I think that is the whole point. We get called out because we are supposed to be the TRUE faith of love. No, i don’t think other faiths get the same attention, but again, that is a function of what WE claim to be. WE follow the one true God and we should be more like Jesus in everything we do.
Thanks, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think this clarified things quite a bit for me.
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Carol, In my opinion, this is a case of the squeakiest wheel getting the oil, so to speak. Christians form a majority of publicly religious voices in our pluralistic society, or at least are the ones commenting the loudest, therefore they/we are the ones who get the most attention.
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Carol, I’m not Jewish & I’m not Muslim (in truth I’m not a baker either), but I am a Christian. As such I can only express my “Christian” beliefs. Remember that Jews and Muslims see Christ differently than Christians do. We believe that we should follow his teachings. They don’t.
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Yes, why are only Christian businesses getting called out?. And not only that, I feel like there are those who make it their life purpose to find a business, on purpose, that will not sale or service a same sex couple’s event. I don’t mean this to be a heavy accusation towards anyone in particular, but I am familiar with human nature.
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Thank you for posting this! I am a lesbian with a wonderful partner. My mother is a staunch Baptist and runs a small wedding reception site. While she has said she loves both me and my partner she will not host any gay weddings or receptions, not even ours, and won’t advertise her business for fear of being shut down for this. To complicate matters I lease a building on her property for my business. I am in the really odd position of wondering if leasing a building from her when she will not support a gay wedding is the equivalent of baking a cake for a wedding I would not support. And I am going to continue leasing the building/metaphorically baking the cake and see where life takes us!
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I think that’s a great point but I would also add that all sins are equal in the eyes of God and unless you are without sin you can not judge. Let thee, without sin, cast the first stone. There is no man alive that is without sin. I see nothing but hypocrisy in those who discriminate against these gay couples. If it it’s a sin then let God handle it the way he sees best. It is not for its to decide. All we can do, as equally sinful man, is show that God had love for all people. Stop chasing people away from the church and God.
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This article is exactly how I see things. Thank you for writing it and giving me hope that there are more people that believe the same thing I do. It is SO hard to find them, especially in a small town. All the people here are good people but I get the impression that the more someone thinks they love God, the more they believe the Religious Law is okay and we should be allowed to not serve them at their gay wedding. Then you read what Jesus said and I don’t get what this people feel like this. Am I the deceived one here?
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As a person starting my journey understating religion and Christianity, I think this is beautiful. I was brought up by hippies who believe in “science” and are against any religion. I have been brought up liberal so I am completely in support of same sex marriage. I feel this issue is based on discrimination of tax paying adults so I love your reference to this about the Romans. I have been attending a church recently that really breaks down the bible in simple loving terms so that people who have been brought up as a skeptic can relate.. To encourage people to come to the light instead of trying to find the fault in Christianity! Please continue to encourage us!
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Thank you, Virginia!
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I just don’t see any of these cake bakers asking their customers to give them a list of their sins, then proceeding to deny service to the adulterer, the glutton, the thief. It just seems ludicrous to me. And sending the message that “you are just not good enough to have a cake made for you” isn’t a Christian principle, at least not a Christian principle of mine.
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Thank you. This is the most sensible thing I have read on this topic so far. God bless you.
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Thank you, just thank you.
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Ideally, I could live in the a world, one day, where there is actual separation of church and state.
Meaning, it would be nice if so many straight religious people would – GASP – stop talking about us queers. Gay marriage has no impact on “the sanctity” of any other marriage arrangement, and the assertion that it does is simply bigoted. Although an otherwise “loving” person could make that statement, the statement itself is bigoted, ignorant, entitled, and fear-driven.
The goal here is that one day people can live their lives without the majority culture having such a heavy hand in it. The goal is that one day women can make their own choices without men condoning or criticizing them.
The goal is that one day, people will care SO LITTLE about Christian viewpoints, that people are left – GASP – practicing their personal beliefs – GASP – …….. PERSONALLY, and not publicly.
I recognize we are not yet in a state of equality, therefore making revolution and change impossible with Christian, straight allies. Thank you for being an ally. But ultimately, it’s a patronizing stepping stone still miles away from true equality, much like “Born that way!” arguments. It makes no difference whether I am born this way or choose it: I am entitled to command my own personal life in equality, freedom, and independence regardless, and that should be available to me without majority Christian approval.
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KNS, I hear you. Thanks for sharing.
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All I can say is THANK YOU! This post has restored my faith in the Christian faith, so often we hear negative, ugly statements about gay marriage, this was/is a beautiful reminder that Jesus and God are all loving. I appreciate you!
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You call yourself a Christian?
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Yes I do! ❤
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You have SO wrapped up my exact feelings on this subject. Just because you can doesn’t mean that you should! As a Christian, I feel so strongly that LOVE should come first!
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I could not agree more! Thank you for writing this commentary. More people need to hear this! I have such a difficult time understanding why Christians rebel against showing love, as Jesus did. And of all things.. for the sake of their faith. As a result, they turn people away from God. They are doing more harm than good. Do they not consider that maybe… just maybe…. God placed those individuals in their bakery for a reason? So that they can see a Christian exhibit love to them, as Jesus would? I just can’t comprehend what is so hard for them to understand. Love God. Lot Others. A Lot!
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I believe in the Sermon on the Mount whole heartedly. I believe that baking 2 cakes (or more) is the answer. How far does this go, let’s say, in marrying a homosexual couple?
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I own a B&B in a very conservative area and it breaks my heart when same sex couples approach me fearful of rejection or condemnation when looking for a reception site or even to book rooms. I completely agree with your post and think the World would be a much better place if we all celebrate & practice love.
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thank you for sharing this. We are all sinners in the eye’s of the Lord and no sin is greater then another except blasphemy of the Spirit. Being gay isn’t blasphemy of the Spirit. but watching Jesus perform miracles and saying that he does them under the power of Satan is.
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Your post hit upon my core belief which is live by the theme of the bible, not each individual word because they can be twisted. The bible can be summed up in two words “Unconditional Love” and if we all baked them 2 the world would truly see what unconditional love, God’s love is. Love more and the world will be a better place.
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Amen!
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“…Jesus did not advocate non-violence merely as a technique for outwitting the enemy, but as a just means of opposing the enemy in such a way as to hold open the possibility of the enemy’s becoming just as well. Both sides must win. We are summoned to pray for our enemies’ transformation, and to respond to ill-treatment with a love that not only is godly but also, I am convinced, can only be found in God.”
― Walter Wink, Jesus and Nonviolence: A Third Way
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Roger, interesting quote, thank you! It reminds me of the poem “Outwitted” by Edwin Markham:
He drew a circle that shut me out–
Heretic, a rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!
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Thank you for this article and your support and appreciation of acceptance and love over discrimination and hate. I am fully in support of individuals rights. I would like to add that this article also applies to the lbgt community when looking at the ultra conservative religious communities. There is a separation between church and state so laws allowing marriage between any 2 consenting adults will come soon. Those laws can not and will not force a church to marry anyone though and I support the churches right to make that decision. They will have to defend their decision to the lord when the time comes. All I ask is that respect that is desired also be given.
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I am a gay woman and mom to 3 special needs kids, including my middle child, M who has mitochondrial disease. Mito is a rare disease that affects her immune system, muscular system, her internal organs and much more. This disease will kill her.
A friend put us in touch with a photographer who takes discount professional photos of families and children in a variety of situations. I contacted her, asking her to take some photos of my kids. She made plans with me, set a date, etc but later cancelled it, citing her religious opposition to my family. In Ohio, I had no recourse…I simply walked away.
The interaction hurt me deeply. My children are not worthy of being photographed because they have two moms?
This did not make me run to “God” and repent of my “Sins”. In fact, it made me want to run from all things church. What happened to loving your neighbor?
Eventually, someone else stepped up and will be photographing my kids this summer.
I have spent this week reading the comments and articles linked here. Thank you. Thank you for helping me find some healing. I look forward to continuing to read 🙂
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Em, thank you so much for sharing your story here. And I’m so so sorry to hear about your daughter’s condition. I am holding space for you and your family. Love you, sister.
Jessica
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I agree with all that you have written. One additional point to be made is that we also should be respectful of all people and their beliefs, even if we don’t agree with them. Would it be considered disrespectful to force someone to do something that goes against their belief – even if we feel their belief is misguided or we disagree with that belief? Does that disregard their freedom? I believe in live and let live, peace, harmony, loving all people and being respectful of people’s differences. To love one another also means to respect those who chose not to do something that we think they should want to do.
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Your post is so refreshing! And in my mind and heart exactly what Jesus would say. In this world where the public voices have become so harsh, both politically and religiously, your words are like a warm, gentle rain on a parched land. My hope is that what you have said will be heard widely. In truth no one is without sin, so none of us should be picking up a stone. Thank God, his grace is sufficient for us all. I am smiling as I say, if people will hear this message, we will all eat cake!
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I loved the historic information included in your explanation. I would also mention that in the story of the woman about to be stoned, in which Jesus stop people from stoning by saying he who has sinned may cast the first stone. Jesus could have picked up the first stone, but chose not to. I think we should remember this when we judge others walk in life
life..
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My co-worker sent me your link today because of my rant on Facebook about how I am heartsick about such discrimination being portrayed as religious freedom. I feel that we’ve been transported back in time 60 years and I’m thinking, didn’t we already have this discussion 60 years ago? WOW. I have goosebumps, literally goosebumps. You say absolutely what I feel. Your wonderful heart is quite apparent. Today, I’m thankful for you, for your wisdom. Thank you for making my day in every way.
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As a gay man I appreciate this article greatly. It is well thought out and conceived. Thank you! I would like to point out that thereis a correlation between what’s Christians are doing for their religious freedom and what some extremist Muslims do. It is definitely unsettling to see this happen in this day and age of reason. Some Muslims throw gays off a building to their death B/C of being gay, and some Christians have proposed putting a bullet in a gay man head to ” fix” the perceived problem. I hope one day everyone can and will shine in the light of reason and faith.
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Jessica, thanks for your article. I love it. As a Follower of Christ I strongly agree with your statement. I am glad and relieved to know I am not the only one that thinks this way.
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Jessica, I wasn’t sure of where I stood or how I felt about this issue. Thank you for posting your thoughts and feelings. I truly believe I may figure out where I’m at now. God bless you.
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Thank you so much for this article. In debates such as this you often only hear from the loudest and most extreme participants from either side of the argument. Being atheist myself, I am certainly guilty of harboring angry thoughts and feelings towards Christians due to all the recent hate and discrimination that’s coming to light. However, coming across an article like this is an amazing reminder that there are kind and loving people on both sides. You don’t have to share a religion to share morals, and coming across people like you makes me think that maybe there is hope for us after all.
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at first I thought this was going to be anouther slam on gay people but it’s not. And I have to say I agree with what it says we are not called to judge others were called to love others. How can anyone think they are good enough to cast stones when their rightousness is filthy rags to God. They only rightusness we can aquire is His rightuness though Him. The Bible says to work out your own salvation with fear and trembleing, it also says with the same measure you judge others God will judge you so as for me I beleve I will stick with judging my own sins and love others while they work out their own.
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Reblogged this on SiriusCoffee and commented:
Guilt and shame do not lead to repentance, but the conviction of the Holy Spirit does. Love and kindness open the hearts of people to receive the Word. The Word is Christ. He said, “Neither do I judge you. Go forth and sin no more.” He is the one who delivers from sin.
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Thanks for your honesty and sincerity, Jessica. There’s too much vindictiveness going around on BOTH sides of this issue. While I am still unconvinced whether or not homosexual behavior is sin, or that Christians should ignore sin and only project the ‘love’ side of God, I appreciate your calm and even-handed approach and that you are able to start a dialog without name-calling and mud-slinging so common today.
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I have read the article and a lot of the comments. I can see both sides. I am a Christian wedding planner and feel that if I were put in this same position, I would have to decline. I base my convictions on what the word of God say about marriage and don’t feel I would be the best choice for a gay couple. People have come to this country for their religious convictions and I feel that there are enough bakers, photographers, florists who would welcome the business and I would be more than happy to direct them to those vendors. I wouldn’t purposely seek out a Muslim baker to bake something that they would be offended by. Decency goes both ways.
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I posted this awesome article to my facebook page yesterday and got a lot of responses, mostly agreeing with you (and me), this was the last thing I have to say about it all that I posted:
“I was thinking about it all last night and I just kept coming back to the thought of who cares what my view is on what people do with their lives? That is between me and Jesus. All I’m called to do it show people love, whether I agree or disagree with them, because trust me, I disagree with A TON of people, but because they aren’t gay we don’t see that as offensive as much, that’s just “normal disagreement.” But, we are not called to pass judgement and give our thoughts and opinions on someone else’s lives, and by not serving them in a loving way we could potentially be helping them to think that Jesus doesn’t love you for who you are. Which is the completely wrong way of living as a Christian, in fact, it’s the exact opposite way of how we should be living! We preach “Jesus loves you, come as you are” to ourselves in church all the time, but are we really saying that to our community at large when we refuse to serve them in such simple way as baking cakes for their weddings we may or may not approve of? What I am saying is it shouldn’t matter whether I approve of said wedding or not, that is between me&Jesus. And, if I can show someone that He loves them the way they are (we are ALL children of God whether we are gay/straight/bi/whatever, first and foremost we are children of Him) and that brings them closer to a relationship with God, then let me bake a thousand cakes. ALL we are called to do as Christians is bring people closer to God, not give our opinions on how they are living. What God chooses to do with that relationship after that is his decision, all I need to do is help them get there. Because I can’t imagine what a life without a relationship with Jesus is, what a life of not knowing what comes after this life is like. And, I especially can’t imagine a life where someone is telling me that this big thing in my life is holding me back from having a relationship with him, so stop. My goodness, I know I’d be thinking “then why the crap do you all claim to say ‘come as you are’ when really you are all thinking ‘come as WE want you to be, fit into OUR mold.'” God doesn’t call us to say that, he calls us to help EVERYONE and to bring them closer to Him. It’s up to Him to figure out the rest, not us, so like I said, if baking someone a cake, no matter what the wedding situation is shows them Jesus, then excuse me while I go buy some flour from SAM’s.”
Jesus=love, service, and self sacrifice.
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The attitude of Christians towards gay people is part of what made me turn away from Christianity in the first place. I’m a bisexual pagan, but I’ve come to realize that the “vocal minority” is hiding a lot of wonderful, loving people who use their religion to heal and love instead of hurt. It took me a long time to not immediately shy away from people who proudly identify as Christians, but posts and attitudes like yours have contributed to lessening that reaction. I know quite a few Christians who live the love that Jesus instructed, and who demonstrably contribute to making the world a better place for everyone. It’s heartening to know that there are people who don’t use their religion as a bludgeon, and that while some Christians are loudmouths who encourage divisiveness and hurting anyone who doesn’t agree with them, many more Christians are too busy loving their neighbors to seek the limelight. Kind of a shame, though, because the loudmouthed haters are getting all the airtime, while people actually living what Jesus preached are getting ignored.
In short, while I don’t imagine I’ll be having a gay wedding any time soon (I’m also polyamorous and married, and the government frowns on being married to two people at the same time!), enshrining hatred into law is disgusting, and I’m glad that you are bringing a different perspective to the conversation.
(Full disclosure, I live in Indiana and I hate that it’s now famous for hate. I plan to get the heck out of here as soon as I’m done with this part of my schooling, and I won’t be back. These kinds of laws drive out a lot of potential as well as actual business and talent.)
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You said it!!
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I’m curious if you have a response/rebuttal to this: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/manhattanproject/2015/04/bake-for-them-two-or-walk-with-the-few/.
I fully agree with what you’ve written, by the way. I’m just interested in how you would respond.
Thank you.
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To this link, I would say that they are making it out as if baking a cake for a homosexual wedding somehow makes the baker participate in what they consider to be the sin of homosexuality or will somehow tempt them to be a homosexual. Baking a cake for a gay wedding is not a sin, it is a service, as is carrying the roman soldier’s tools. The argument this author makes is that Jesus isn’t saying to sin just because you are asked, but nobody is asking them to become gay. They are asking for their services (actually their business’s services), which is exactly what Jesus says to do. Love and serve others and by showing them love, you are showing them Jesus. The link also argues that Jesus used the fellowship as an evangelism and nobody wants the baker to preach at the couple. But Jesus wasn’t preaching at the tax collectors. He was eating with them, being a friend. He showed them love and he showed that through friendship and service.
I know plenty of Christians who don’t have to preach at anyone to get their message across. Their message is love and they show it. And when it comes up in conversation, they don’t hide their Christianity, but they don’t shove it into every conversation either. They take the opportunity when someone asks, and those opportunities come (and those people listen) because they have built trust by showing nothing but love.
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Hi Donna, I did respond to his description of me as a “free-lance editor and part-time nanny, [who] penned a blog that went viral, competing with the reach of those of us who do religious liberty for a living.”
My reply: “Hi Eric, Jessica here. For what it’s worth, besides being a nanny and an editor I also went to seminary — a fact which I mention in the same sentence on my blog as the nanny and editor jobs, but which you seem to have edited out. I have a Master of Divinity from Gordon-Conwell, an Evangelical seminary. I did ministry for many years, and lived in an intentional Christian community for seven years (both of these things are also mentioned in my bio, but were not included in your summation of my qualifications). And I have been blogging at tenthousandplaces.org since 2007, on a wide variety of subjects including ministry, Christian life, and Christian community. That said, I believe my nanny work is as of much value as all the rest put together, and even nannies without theology degrees are worth listening to.
Best,
Jessica”
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As a gay woman, I truly appreciate this article. I am discouraged by the militant and oh so hypocritical self-interest represented in so many posts regarding this issue. We simply wish to be treated with equality. Human rights, not just LGBT rights. General, common dignity and respect for the fact that we ARE HUMAN. Not one single one of us, straight or gay or transgender or whatever, is born sin free, and we all, everyone of us,straight, gay, etc. must follow our own path of redemption in Christ’s eyes. God decides our fate. Because some of us are not heterosexual, does not make us less worthy of God’s descision. Jesus died for ALL of OUR sins, not just those who go to church on Sunday. While I do not consider myself “religious”(I find that a very archaic term), I do consider myself to be deeply spiritual. I do believe in God, and I find solice in the teachings of Jesus. I think there is a way, but every single one of us has to work towards this. There can be no solution without everyone getting onto the same direction of pull. We should not be pulling each other apart, rather as this article so beautifully pointed out, we ALL, everyone of us, need to “go the extra mile.” I will, I do and I can, and you?
Thank you and God Bless you
Dana
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Amen! Go girl!
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Is it appropriate for Christians to choose to bake a cake for a gay wedding? Absolutely!
Is it appropriate for the government to compel Christians to bake a cake for a gay wedding? Absolutely not!
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I’ll admit it’s a fine line, but I don’t think saying that Christians have been specifically compelled to do anything is a fair way to put it. It’s much more like the government is preventing a business from denying a service it would otherwise provide were it not for the customer’s sexual orientation. You’ll be hard pressed to find an instance where workplace discrimination based upon age/sex/religion/ethnicity is not illegal. If you want to bake for a specific group of people then do it as a hobby. But if you want to make a business out of it be prepared to serve everyone.
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Hit it right on the nose!!!
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should a restaurant owner be compelled by the government to serve people of color? Most people think so, but if bakers can refuse to serve gay clients why can’t black or white or christian or jewish or muslim clients likewise be refused? BTW it is already perfectly legal for businesses to refuse to engage in speech they deem distasteful or dangerous, like a printer refusing to print anti-semitic pamphlets or a baker refusing to write hate speech on a cake. Refusing to perform services because of the content of the service is already legal and well-established. In this case, the law is about refusing service to people because of who they are. Simply, you can refuse to bake a cake for a couple if you would refuse to bake that same cake for everyone. But you can’t (at least before this and similar laws) refuse to bake a typical cake for a particular group of people.
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I haven’t heard on the news of any bakery refusing to bake a simple cake for anybody gay. I have heard of Gay people discriminating against bakeries for not wanting to participate in something they find immoral and offensive. God told us to hate the sin and love the sinner. He didn’t say help them celebrate their sins. The best approach is for the baker to bake the cake and donate double the price of the cake to a legal defense fund who is fighting for religious freedom.
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[…] This post by blogger Jessica Kantrowitz on how Christians might consider responding to the whole gay wedding cake kerfuffle is brilliant and inspired. I had to share it with you: […]
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Amen!!!!!!
We agree with you. Our son is gay, we don’t condone it, but only by loving them as Jesus, (unconditional). will he come back. He is very respectful and loving to us . A church turned him out, never prayed with him or offered counsel. It has been many years now, and He still won’t go back to any church. He tells us he has Jesus in his heart, that’s all he needs. We will never give up praying for him??? It has taught us a lot about not being prejudice and about unconditional love. We believe he will come back to Jesus one day . Lot’s of hurt .
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If your son has Jesus in his heart, he hasn’t gone anywhere. I haven’t been to church, a physical building in years. But I believe and I find I am closer to God in the woods on the back of my horse than I ever have been in a building.
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