In Jesus’ time, the nation of Israel was under Roman rule. The Israelites were allowed to live there and practice their faith for the most part, but they had to pay taxes to Caesar and obey the Roman laws.
To the Israelites, the Romans were evil and ungodly. They had no place ruling over God’s chosen people in God’s chosen nation. That land had been promised to Moses and his descendants when God brought them out of Egypt. Their very presence in the land was blasphemous.
One of the Roman laws stated that any man could be required to drop what he was doing and carry a Roman soldier’s equipment for him for up to a mile. In the Sermon on the Mount, with his followers gathered around him, Jesus referenced that law and told his followers what they should do in that case:
“If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.” ~Matthew 5:41
Go with them two miles. That was not the advice that most of the people in the crowd that day had been hoping for. That was not the conclusion that they would have come to on their own, following this man that they hoped would lead them to victory over the Romans. That was certainly not respecting their religious beliefs — go with them two! What if their neighbors saw! What if seeing them carrying the Roman’s equipment caused other Jews to think the Roman oppression was okay? What if there was other work that needed to be done — good work, charity work even, but they spent all that time carrying equipment for the evil oppressor? But Jesus is not worried about any of that:
“If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also,” he said. “And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Christians, our Jesus said, “Go with them two.”
If you believe gay marriage is immoral (I don’t, myself) and a gay couple comes into your shop and asks you to bake a cake for their wedding, what should you do? If God causes the sun to rise and the rain to fall on the wedding days of straight and gay couples, then what is our responsibility? If it is against the law to discriminate against people based on their sexual orientation, but you believe strongly that their lifestyle is immoral, what should you do?
Christians, our Jesus said, “Go with them two.”
If you are wondering if it is worth being sued and losing your business to stand up for what you believe is right, if you miss the look of hurt in the couple’s eyes when you refuse them and only see an angry, media-driven, ACLU-led mob attacking the small business owner who is only standing up for what you believe in, what should you do?
Christians, our Jesus said, “Go with them two.”
Jesus said, not only should you follow the law of the land — the law which in America for the most part prohibits discrimination against people because of their sexual orientation — not only should you do the minimum you have to do, you should go the extra mile. (Yes, that’s where that expression comes from!) Do *twice* what the law requires.
If someone forces you to bake a cake for a gay wedding, bake for them two.
Christians, our Jesus said to not only follow the law, but to rise to a higher standard of love. Christians should be the FIRST people baking cakes — for everyone who asks us. We should be known for our cake baking. People should be saying, “There go those crazy Christians again, baking cakes for everyone. They just won’t quit!” Then, when we share the reason for our wild, all-inclusive love, people will want to hear it. “Let your light shine before others,” said Jesus, “that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Christians, when we dig our heels in and insist on our right to discriminate, we are hurting people — we are hurting so many people, so deeply. Behind the ACLU and the liberal media are real people, who have been hurt again and again in the name of Christ. Christians, you and I have hurt them. I know most of us have really good intentions, but we are making Jesus the last thing they want to hear about.
If we “snatch one person from the fire” by refusing to condone behavior we believe is immoral, but send hundreds and thousands of others fleeing churches and Christianity entirely, what have we really accomplished? Someone else will make that cake and fewer and fewer people will look to Christianity for love and hope. We will have won a battle that we were never called to fight in the first place, but lost the war.
*****
Friends, after receiving more than 1500 comments this past week, I’m closing the comments section on this post. I want you to know that I value all of you who took the time to leave a comment, even those who disagreed with me, and especially those on all sides of the issue who vulnerably shared their stories of hurt and healing.
If you would like to read other Christians’ perspective on this issue, or find places for further discussion, I have shared some resources that have been helpful to me here: BFTT follow up and resources.
If you are curious how I came to support gay marriage and full inclusion of LGBT Christians in the body of Christ, you can read about that here.
If you have felt rejected or unloved by Christians or the church because of your sexuality or gender identity, please read my post We choose you.
And please check out Faithfully LGBT and their wonderful photo series of LGBT people of faith.
Love,
Jessica
Ten Thousand Places 
I think it is wonderful that you have provided the opportunity to have a polite and civil conversation. Thank you.
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This is beautiful! I have been receiving many messages these days along these lines…not of tolerance (I dislike the word) but of love and assuming best intention. I work with a population of people who have been traumatized and are often difficult to deal with because of the ways they seek attention. I have found it difficult to stay removed and look at the situation with compassion. This is the same message I see in your post. We are a vast people with many different beliefs, background and experiences but we will all respond to love and kindness. I am not a christian but these words speak to me and I appreciate the message. It helps to remind me that those that I perceive as enemies most often are not, they are just coming from a different place and should be treated with respect and care
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Caitlin, if you find this blog speaks to you, you should realize who the voice behind the blog is. I think this is a well-written post and I find it illuminating and relevant to our culture present-day. I wonder if you would read more from the Bible you may find yourself being ‘loved’ and ‘fed’ in a way you never thought possible!
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Jessica, your well-stated blog has encouraged a lot of folks to not only voice their opinions, but to do some soul-searching, as well. I am an evangelical Christian, and have enough sins to fill the Empire State building.
But, my question or point is, why must every issue require government intervention?
Throughout my life, I remember seeing signs posted in private businesses “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone”.
Or, how about “No shoes, no shirt, no service”? Seriously, would anyone wish to be eating a meal in a restaurant and have another diner enter naked, and seated next to you~~you fully clothed, or you & your family, including young children?? Oh my goodness, where might this unclothed person have been before, who wants to sit on that chair or bench next? Not to mention, where do they separate the linens? For someone naked may have placed the cloth napkin on their lap and shed pubic hair.
I realize some may wish to dine nake, while others would not. Do it in the privacy of your own home. Does state or federal government really have to intercede?
Which brings me back to my question, WHY oh why, people, must every difference of opinion require a judge and jury.
Go on down the street, find another bakery, or pizzeria, or day care provider, or restaurant. There are plenty of businesses out there that will bake you a cake. Why even make your sexual orientation a point of discussion?
Yes, indeed, we ALL need to practice “Live and let live, turn the other cheek, go the extra mile”.
Today’s world has far greater problems and concerns that truly need our time, energy and financial support rather than destroying a private business and humiliating either party.
I appreciate everyone’s comments. Great discussion.
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Mcmeme, the right to refuse service only applies when it does not apply to a protected class of citizens. Granted, LGBT citizens are not protected as a class in this country in Civil Rights as citizens are by their sex, race or national origin. There are some localities that provide protections from discrimination, but that is it. If someone is disruptive, abusive or requests something that a business does not do, like provide a service that they do not provide for anyone, then they can refuse service to anyone.
As far as the “no shoes….no service”, that is required by the law in some areas because of health department regulations, but also for safety/liability reasons of that business. There are also decency laws and preferences that come into play in many areas. There is also one factor that differentiates that comparison with the LGBT population. It is a choice to wear shoes and clothing, or not wear it.
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Mcmeme, just a question to consider in response to your asking why: would you say, “it’s okay for someone to refuse a black couple service if it goes against their beliefs: the couple can just go elsewhere”? No, you probably wouldn’t. Sexual orientation isn’t an issue like choosing to enter a diner naked: gay couples aren’t asking for the right to have sex in cake bakeries. They just want to be served. Government is there to allow free market in general, but to protect racial and sexual minorities from unfair discrimination so that they can enjoy the same dignity of treatment others do.
Hope that helps you understand where the other side is coming from 🙂
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With all due respect mcmeme, replace naked person with christian, jew, or african american in your parable and pehaps that will illustrate why it is very intuitively and humanly unacceptable to practice exclusion.
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I love your well thought out response but I would challenge you to re-read something you wrote in there from a (presumably) new perspective. “Why even make [my] sexual orientation a point of discussion?” The discussion at hand is not about wanting to legally do anything as shocking as dine in the nude in public, or (as another article made a comparison to) as morally challenging as to ask a business to cater an abortion. The discussion comes down to people, who are like all other people in nearly every single way, wanting the right to dine without fear of prejudism or discrimination. Or in a more grave yet very realistic context, receive medical care or legal advice. Because, as you so eloquently stated: “Why even make [] sexual orientation a point of discussion?”
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The reason that the government needs to be involved is because we are discussing the oppression of a marginalized group of people. It is systemic discrimination that is being extended to an entire group of people. Since it is failing at the local level, higher levels of intervention are needing to take place.
A quick Google News search with keywords “LGBT” “Hate Crime” “Gay Bashing” brought up these headlines:
“Houston Gay Activist Shot in Apparent Hate Crime”
“After New Gay Bashing, Mayor Says He’ll Create a Hate Crimes Task Force”
“Mississippi Man says parking lot assault was an anti-gay hate crime”
“Houston Hate Crime Victim Suing Former Employer for Alleged Anti-Gay Discrimination”
These are just a few. These are all within the past month. From all over the country. They don’t even scratch the surface of what is happening internationally, especially in Africa and Russia. We have to be protected! If we don’t demand that these discriminations and horrors stop, it will only get worse, not better. If the people stay silent because they think what gay people do in the bedroom is “gross,” then they are complicit.
Christians are supposed to be the champions for the oppressed and they are the loudest oppressors! I am no longer a Christian, but I used to be. I came across this article because a friend from long ago shared it. One of the comments was from another acquaintance. As a Christian, she states the Christians have gone wrong in two ways. The first is that they claim that they have to protect their religious freedoms, but in reality that isn’t what Christ did when he died. And the second is when Christians confuse the bible for the law of the land, stating that Christ only fought against the Pharisees, religious leaders that used their beliefs to oppress others. Interesting, eh?
I think comparing a gay couple to a man sitting naked in a restaurant is an illogical comparison, and problematic. It essentially calls gay people gross. Or, at least, that’s how I’m interpreting that comparison.
You also question, “why even make your sexual orientation a point of discussion?” If I walk into a restaurant with my girlfriend and hold her hand, or give her a hug, or display even the smallest amount of affection, I have made my “sexual orientation a point of discussion.” Even if I’m not discussing it, others will be. And if I’m seeking the services of a caterer or baker or event hall for the purposes of marrying my same-sex partner, my sexual orientation is going to be obvious as I, a female-bodied individual, is marrying another female-bodied individual. No one should hide who they are to make others more comfortable. I shouldn’t fear displaying affection to someone I love because someone doesn’t want to see it.
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Why not give that naked man eating in the diner the shirt off your back? Cant you see the man is in need? Instead of shaming him why dont you try HELPING HIM?
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Anon, I love it! 🙂
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I couldn’t agree more. In my experience those who have impacted my life in astounding ways have been the very people I reached out to help. What happened to witnessing to the unrighteous,(not that I believe being gay is unrighteous) isn’t that what Christianity is about. Bringing into the church our fellow brothers and sisters and witnessing to them the love of Christ. The church isn’t just in a sanctuary, it’s in the streets, the bakeries, the restaurants, it’s in the hearts of those that have compassion and unconditional love for God’s people. Bring inside the naked man, he may be an angel sent here to test our hearts. Bring that beautiful being inside and clothe him and feed him, isn’t that what Jesus would have done?
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Regarding your question – why even make your sexual orientation a point of discussion – I think it was unavoidable in this instance. The couple in question didn’t walk in and say “I’d like to order a coffee, and by the way, I’m gay!”. They were ordering a wedding cake…it was going to come up. But I do agree with you in a way – why even make sexual orientation a point of discussion? Just bake the damn cake and move on.
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We need “government” to protect the minority from the oppression of the majority.
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Clarifying, moving, beautiful. Well done.
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I used to struggle with the gay issue. However, if all sins are equal then a gay person is no more a sinner then I, and in many cases they may be a better person then I. Jesus didn’t die so every straight person could go to heaven, he died so we all had a chance at heaven. If being gay was a sin then its no worse then then divorce, sex before marriage,gluttony and not honoring ones parents. And I don’t see any less of those. I also don’t see us having women marry men who rape them and stoning those whom commit adultery. I also beleive being a Christian means the best way to show that is treating others how Christ would treat them…sure we may not know for sure how he would have but God sees whats in our hearts, he knows if we have the right intentions. (And I beleive being gay is no more a sin then being a woman or straight)
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Except Jesus spent his time with prostitutes and beggars; he spent his time with those who most considered to be grave sinners. If we truly think about it, consider it, I think we do know what HE would do. He would spend time within the LGBT community, dine with them, enjoy their company and speak to them. He would not shun them as many who are attempting to use Christianity as a reason to shun them are so obviously doing. Jesus did not turn his back on any individual, he embraced all and encouraged all Christians to do the same. That is what this blog post is about. Jessica is talking about embracing those who do you wrong, rather than lashing out at them. Showing EVERYONE loving kindness and TRUE Christianity. My God, my Jesus was not – IS NOT – exclusionary.
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Exactly! Well put Rene, thank you!
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I have been trying to get the same answer, and no one will respond. Do sins have a rating scale? I am questioning homosexuality vs eating shellfish and I have never read any explanation. Can you help me understand? That text,It seems to me is where all the justification comes from.
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Hi Rose, I think you might find some useful discussion at the Gay Christian Network, http://gaychristian.net/.
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If God is Love Transcendant, how can any Love be wrong?
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Exactly my God loves all and that’s the standard I strive for.
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My only issue with this post is that “Christian” and “gay” are not mutually exclusive. Many of us are both. And many of our churches and church leadership are not just “tolerant” but celebrate diversity in sexual orientation. At my church, we had a wedding cake at coffee hour to celebrate our state catching up to our church by making same-sex marriage legal.
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Lilysea, yes, I agree! I’m sorry if my post made it seem otherwise. Thanks for your comment.
Jessica
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This is an amazing story….I have been trying to express these very thoughts myself and here you have done it in a beautiful way. I wish everyone of every faith and belief could adopt this way of thinking….It is such a biblical truth!!
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Paul said we would know the right stuff when we heard it so we don’t fall for the false prophets and I believe this article is the right stuff!
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You are twisting scripture a bit here. I mean by this logic if someone forced you to steal 1 loaf of bread you should steal 2, or if someone forces you to murder someone you should murder 2.
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Not exactly, David — Carrying equipment and baking a cake are morally neutral actions, whereas stealing and murdering are not. But, walk the second mile with a thief or a murderer, yes. Visit them in prison, yes. In fact that’s what my dad does for a living!
Jessica
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Seriously great food for thought. I’m definetly going to chew on it. Can u give me your thoughts (with the same logic that you presented) about what you would do if someone asked you for money… Specifically for an abortion? Since giving money is a “good/moral thing” but abortion is not a”good” thing. (btw, i’m not condemning any woman who has had one… I love them all :). Or what about going with someone to have an abortion to hold their hand through it? Or what about selling flowers to a man who is buying flowers for his adultress?
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Hi, thanks for your comment! I touched on the question of abortion in reply to a previous comment, if you have the time to scroll back and find it. Sorry I don’t have time to write more right now!
Jessica
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And that’s where the theological paths diverge between “pro” and “anti” observers. To some, the act of baking the cake represents an endorsement of a sin, or even enabling the sin, much as Jesus might have not only refuted condemning the prostitute but even helped her find her next customer rather than tell her “go and sin no more”.
So I guess the whole argument hinges on whether “simply baking a cake” is a morally neutral act.
If the cake is just a regular wedding cake with no indication of the couple being married, and you (as a hypothetical baker) aren’t made aware of its intended purpose, that’s absolutely right. But if the customer specifically requests wording or decorations to indicate that both members of the union are the same sex… that’s where the water gets choppy.
Obviously if you (the hypothetical baker, not you personally) don’t consider same-sex marriage a sin, you’re in the clear. But if you DO believe that Scripture tells us it’s a sin, and you DO desire to avoid sin as much as possible in a naturally sinful human form… things get tricky. How can we extend unconditional love to our neighbor, while at the same time not encouraging or participating in what we sincerely believe to be a sinful act, while at the same time painfully aware of our own sin that God through the sacrifice at the cross has forgiven?
*sigh* life sure gets complicated sometimes. It’s situations like this where Paul’s confusing speech about “I do what I do not want to do” in Romans 7 starts to make sense.
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Thanks for your thoughts! Yes, I think you have summed up the struggle well. Keep looking to Jesus, friend. I believe he will guide us.
Love,
Jessica
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Who are you to determine what another person considers a morally neutral action? That, my friend, is up to the individual. That is the central theme of Freedom of Religion – that we are all free to make that choice for ourselves. For example, many would say that eating beef, or eating pork, or shaking hands, or baring one’s face are morally neutral actions; however, there are many in this world for whom those actions are sinful.
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I read this shaking me head all the way through, wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, “THIS!!!! This is all I’m saying!!!!”
For all the rest of my life I will NEVER understand how anyone could believe that the way to follow Christ is to hate someone else, for anything! All sin is the same, hate the sin, but love the sinner.
Thank you so much for this! I pray it spreads far and wide!!!
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Exactly, like when Jesus feed the five thosand with the fish and bread, were they all not still sinners? So did that make him a sinner? Jesus never avoided sin or sinners, he dined with them he and he told us to do the same.
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“… I will NEVER understand how anyone could believe that the way to follow Christ is to hate someone else. . . ”
I’m not here to debate the essence of this discussion, but the Oregon couple who have been on trial for declining to bake the cake attend my church. I know them. They are not haters. They are lovers of Christ and of people. During the months of scrutiny of this process, we all have had time to reflect on all the nuances and decide how we would have handled it. Hindsight and deliberation are great. But at that moment of decision, Mr Klein was doing what he believed to be right and they are now paying a huge price.
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The referenced verse is about responding to evil with love, so you are saying gays are evil? I’m not sure that helps the conversation.w
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Susan, I don’t at all think gays are evil, and I apologize if it came across that way. What I meant was that even if a Christian believes that homosexuality is against God’s will he or she is still called to go the extra mile in love.
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“The referenced verse is about responding to evil with love, so you are saying gays are evil? I’m not sure that helps the conversation.w”
I don’t believe she was saying that. One thing I keep seeing is the back and forth, Is Homosexuality a sin? Since many Christians continue to follow the Law of Moses (or at least this part of it) despite the fact Jesus fulfilled the law, thereby making it moot, would make it a sin. Those Christians and non-christians who follow the Greater Law Jesus gave know that since Jesus didn’t personally speak of it, He didn’t consider it a sin. If He had, why did He leave it out when discussing other sexual sins like adultery?
When I struggled with understanding what is and isn’t a sin, my wise Institute teacher said, “Any action or thought that intentionally brings harm to someone, even yourself, is sin.” This is how I live. Based on this guide, Loving my wife harms No One. Ostracizing your fellow man because he/she doesn’t believe or follow your chosen creed is sin. Judging someone based on a set of laws that is not common to the global community, is sin. God is my judge.
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Beautifully written. Calm and sensible. We Christians should all strive to live as He taught us…
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I just want to say I believe myself to be Christian. I am also happily married to my husband for the last 28 years. He has a family member that is gay. I was raised Catholic and in the teachings I remember from childhood,the Bible tells us not to judge others for what they do because we can also be judged. We don’t get much happiness in the world we live in so what purpose does it serve to deny anyone a wedding cake because of who they fall in love with???? How does Jesus teachings of love thy neighbor factor into the hearts of the people denying any couple a cake? You don’t have to like the people or what they do but basic customer service for any business is the customer is always right. How would they like it being denied what they want for maybe the color of their shirt?
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Eloquently stated, Marla and I couldn’t agree more… Jesus told us to love one another… I don’t agree with lots of people’s life decisions (I don’t think being gay is a decision, anyway) but I would bake them a cake because it’s not my place to judge…. These business owners need to realize that if they are right with Jesus and have a personal relationship with Him that he knows their hearts and is willing to help them with the decision to choose to love and not hate… No one is asking them to attend the wedding…if the photographers are uncomfortable having to be there then they can be “booked” that day without being hurtful….what are we all so afraid of when two people have chosen to spend their lives committed to one another in love. I’ve wrestled with the notion of calling it “marriage” as God defines it, but I’m coming around…. Love is love…. Let’s show a little more to each other and let a God deal with all of our choices individually as we seek His face in prayer…
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Some feel it is participating, some don’t. We to respect both views.
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This was as wonderful a post on the subject as I can imagine, and I cannot help but feel God’s love expressed in it. Even though what she does is not a “business”, my wife bakes lots of cakes for folks – many of whom are not friends or people we know but have been referred by others. Here’s where we have landed on this subject: We admit we don’t fully understand the totality of God’s heart on many of the questions of life. But in any case, we believe Jesus’ clear example for each of us who claim to follow Him is to love. Even though she will never be “forced” to bake a cake for anyone, the ONLY reason she will ever pass on a request would be if someone asked her to make something that would be in poor taste (or she’s just TOO busy!). She will not turn anyone down based on who they love in this life. Rather, we pray that she can point everyone to Him by loving each them with the same love He has shown us. And if Jesus’ love can take the form of a beautiful, delicious cake, prepared with care, and that brings joy to the heart and makes taste buds happy, I know just the girl that can make it!! Thank you for sharing your heart on this. I hope many will prayerfully consider the wisdom your post contains.
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Just curious why my comment – which was polite and respectful but disagreed with your premise – has not been posted. All the comments posted are from people mostly saying how wonderful and right your post was. I’d like to see some of the respectful dissenters postings.
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Jeannie, please understand, I have received over a thousand comments here, with more coming in by the minute, and it is hard work going through them all while still having my job and all the regular responsibilities of life — not to mention the need for sleep! I am doing my best to prayerfully consider each comment, but there are hundreds I haven’t even been able to read yet, and realistically might not get to.
I do appreciate you taking the time to read and respond.
In another blog post today I shared some other places that offer resources and discussion of this issue, if you are interested.
Best,
Jessica
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Agree!
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Thank you for saying so eloquently what I have been trying to express! Christians actions haven’t been Christ-like, and that bothers me. My daughter is a beautiful, articulate, intelligent 24 year old who happens to be a lesbian, and I feel sorry for the people who won’t know how wonderful she is simply because she is gay. You have restored my faith in what Christianity truly is. Thank you!
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I’m not a Christian, though I was raised a Catholic. This is beautifully versed. Very well intended. And goes a long way to explaining part of the reason why so many people are leaving the faith. A at timez very real and/or a perceived intolerance that goes against what most believe was the purpose of the teachings of a man named Jesus. Love thy neighbour.
Thank you. I might even continue to read the words of a Christian because of this.
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This was a nicely written piece and I appreciate you view. Thank you!
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I never looked at it this way before. Time to bake a cake…or TWO. Thank you.
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Thank you for giving me a way to talk about this with people that are Christian.
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Loved it, Jessica. Thank you for speaking truth as Jesus would have done. God bless! May you love extravegantly in Jesus’ Name, wherever you are.
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Beautifully said. 🙂
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This is a lovely piece- I agree with you & the sentiment whole heartedly, but do want to play the devils advocate here & point out that in most states LGBTQ persons are actually NOT protected under the anti-discrimination act, contrary to what most people believe. In fact, they are not protected in Indiana. So your argument of following the laws of the land could easily be argued against you.
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I LOVE this blog!!! Thank you. My belief as a Christian is to love my neighbor, not judge my neighbor. Because who is without sin?! I think this will help and remind many “devout” Christians of where their heart is really meant to be.
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Love this beautifully written and thoughtful post. I’ve always supported gay rights etc. (I’m from SF-it’s in the water 😏) But your post made me look at it in another way-what if that pizza place in Indiana that got all the news coverage had instead showed up at their first gay wedding with hearts full of love and smiles on their faces? Wouldn’t have that been the greater testimony to God’s love? How many people have we Christians turned away from God by openly judging others and even worse, legislating judgements into law. (And even if you believe homosexuality is a great big sin, is it any worse than adultery? Sex before marriage? Are you asking all your customers about their sex lives or are you just profiling?)
Anyway-great post. I think you reached far more people than you expected with a message of love-which is the exact message Christ asked us to take with us into the world.
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This paints the entire issue in a much different light and is very insightful. I think it highlights to the difference between Being a Christian and being Religious.
A Christian would, of course, want to be like Jesus and treat all people with love and compassion. In his time on earth, he hung out with all manner of people, sinners and saints, prostitutes, fornicators, lepers, thieves, etc…. He loved all and was in returned loved by them.
The people Jesus had the most problem with was the religious people. They followed the laws, but didn’t have the heart of Jesus. In the end, they ultimately killed him.
As a Christian, it’s not my job to judge others or force my beliefs on them. My job is simply to love them as Jesus did.
I do believe the pizza guy was joking when he said he wouldn’t cater a gay wedding. Or possibly he attempted some misplaced sarcasm. I don’t know anyone that has weddings catered by pizza parlors. I’m sure a gay couple would be much discerning with what they served. Was it inappropriate, perhaps. But I have a hard time taking the comment seriously. Pizza served at a wedding… Had to be attempted humor. Just my opinion.
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As a Christ-follower who works as a web designer/developer, if a potential client comes to me and asks me to build them a hardcore porn/BDSM site, do I say “Sure, and I’ll build a mobile app, too!” ? I welcome all opinions since I haven’t formed one yet.
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Hi Ryan, thanks for your comment! As a Christian, the question I would ask myself is, “How can I best show Christ’s love in this situation?” In the case of a baker and a gay wedding, my conclusion is that baking the cake would show more love than refusing, since it would show the couple that you value them as people, and might even open up room for conversation about why you value them — because they are God’s dearly loved children, knit together by God in the womb and loved so much that God came down to earth, suffered, and died for love of them. Refusing to bake the cake is likely to communicate disrespect and devaluing, which would hurt the couple and shut the door to further conversation. In the case of a web designer, I would guess that your potential client would not take it personally and reject Christianity because you turned them down, but might in fact be open to hearing love in your reasoning, if you did it gently. Those are just my thoughts — I believe if you seek to do God’s will in the situation then the Holy Spirit will guide you.
Love,
Jessica
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What a wonderfully generous interpretation of Christianity. These days, it seems to be the meanness of so-called Christians that are making the news.
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Thank you.
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Thank you for this. I was very close to being one of the Christians who just walked away from the church because I was tired of seeing my religion being used as a weapon. This article helped bring me back.
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Lauren, I hear you. Thanks so much for reading and for commenting.
Jessica
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful words. It makes so much more sense for Christians to act Christian. I will try to apply what you have said in other situations. (I don’t think I’ll be asked to bake anyone’s cake unless they were really desperate) There are so many bigger problems in the world than who somebody loves, maybe that negative energy could become a positive force for change. Enough of my ramble thanks and best wishes.
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Thank you for a well-reasoned, supported response. Refusing to serve someone doesn’t change minds, and if one is combative, it serves to solidify their position. When we examine the life of Jesus in the Gospels, we see that he spent his time with people who were the ‘lowest of the low’. He spent time with the worst sinners of the day, teaching them to be better than they were. He taught us that love is harder than we imagine. It is easy to love people who are just like us and so difficult to love those whose lives offend us. And yet that is the rule that guides us, not the easy route of serving people who share our views.
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This is the first post I’ve ever shared with all of my friends and amazingly enough, highly religious family members who I’ve never shared anything with.It’s a great post that deserves sharing. This is the Jesus i grew up knowing and following.
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Reblogged this on Adventures of a Wocket.
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I think this is an interesting application of that particular scripture. Definitely worth considering. I do, however, believe that practicing homosexuality is sin according to both Old and New Testament scripture (Romans 1 and I Corinthians 6 for those unfamiliar with the NT references) and understand that some are uncomfortable with situations which make them feel like they are forced to condone it. Same sex attraction in itself is no more a sin than heterosexual attraction, but scripture is clear that the only legitimate sexual relationship to be acted on is within monogamous heterosexual marriage. We often confuse lust for love. Love is a choice, not a feeling, and is expressed through sacrifice, self-control, and giving, not through unrestrained self expression outside of God’s boundaries. We can’t just pretend that His word has an expiration date or that what we think about it changes what He said. It does not matter what we think or what is the popular opinion. That said, practicing homosexuality is no more a sin than any other sin, and I am as guilty as the next of many sins and just as in need of a Savior as the next person. Furthermore, disagreeing with someone on the issue does not make them a hater. We can’t lower ourselves to name-calling and bullying. Everyone should act in a loving and gracious manner whether or not we agree with each other. For that reason, I think the “go the extra mile” is worth considering on all sides of the issue. Thank you for pointing out this application. 🙂
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Well and caringly said, s rico. I agree with your points that:
— Homosexual sin is no different than any other sin—heterosexual sin/lust, telling a lie, murder, theft…what we might consider “big” or “small” sins are the same “level” of sin in God’s eyes. And we’re all just as guilty as the next person.
— Disagreeing with someone doesn’t automatically make that person a hater of the other person. I disagree with my husband and children often, but I don’t hate them.
I suspect that the bakers that have been in the news lately would have gladly made any of their specialties for their gay clients if the product was unrelated to gay marriage. I also suspect that in most cases those bakers treat those gay clients with respect and love whenever they might be in their bakery…or when they meet on the street. It is the product that is the issue, not the client.
I read in another thoughtful blog post about this issue by Glennon on momastery.com (http://momastery.com/blog/2015/04/06/support-your-right/), wherein she referenced this blog post as a good source, that because our country was founded on the separation of church and state, then religious views should be subject to the laws of the government. This also adds another dimension. My understanding of the separation of church and state purpose was to keep the government out of the church (the reason why settlers left to for their own nation here), not to keep the church out of government. That does not mean that the church should run the government, either…
A couple of other questions I have regarding this particular issue and blog post are as follows:
— Since, as a Christian, I am convinced that sin is detrimental, dangerous, hurtful, etc., to the one performing the act in question, not to mention perhaps another person or persons, is it truly loving toward that person (in this case, a practicing homosexual) to stay silent about the harm they would be bringing upon themselves and others? Is it loving to go along with it?
— Is the action in Scripture that the Christian was compelled to perform related in any way to something Scripture delineates as sin? Walking a mile is not a sin. Neither is baking a cake. In those days, “compelling” someone to walk that mile may not have been against the law, but in our time and location, it probably would be (unless one is in gym class in school 🙂 ). It might be considered kidnapping or some other coercion.
In my personal opinion, if two people of the same sex choose to have a sexual relationship and/or get married, that’s their choice. I may think that it’s more harmful to them than helpful, healthy or satisfying, but they should be able to make their own choices. The issue comes when we require others to agree with or support those choices.
I have gay friends who are fun, brilliant, awesome, loving, amazing people, and I love them. (Even if they weren’t those terrific qualities, I would still love them.) Their being gay has no effect upon their immense value and beauty as a human being. I am compelled to ask myself, “How can I love them as Jesus would?” I certainly don’t do it perfectly, unfortunately. I don’t love anyone near perfectly, not even myself, my family or God.
I’m grateful for your thoughtful, thought-provoking, loving, kind post, Jessica. I look forward to more.
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I love this and if I had the skills I’d open a bakery that would make free cakes for those that have been rejected by discriminating bakeries.
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I enjoyed everything except the statement of “forcing someone to bake a cake for a gay wedding”. I am gay and I personally would never ever dream of wanting to force someone to bake a cake for my wedding. I would fear the person would spit in it or something worse. I am lucky to have a very large accepting family and I also live in an area where people really are excepting and very cool no matter what religion or faith. Thank God for Liberals and Democrats or us Gays would be in jail or dead somewhere.
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Mr. Thompson, NOW who is discriminating?
I am a conservative Republican, and I wish Gays no harm, jail time or discrimination. Oh!
You’re quite welcome in my church, and I’d gladly serve you at my business. Do it all the
time. Be careful of your assumptions. You were wrong in this case.
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R Lee Thompson. You speak with wisdom and have said something I have said all along. Why would a gay couple even want a cake someone was forced to make. I struggle with this whole thing. NOt because of the gay thing.. I have a daughter and daughter in law who are married and have adopted 2 children. Their family consists of 1 fat and 1 thin gay couple, an African American handicapped child and a Hispanic handicapped child. They cover a lot of the discrimination subjects so I would not discriminate against many people. However I go thinking if a KKK member wanted something for a KKK event or a group wanted me to bake for a satanic cult wedding,, I am afraid I couldn’t go the extra mile right or wrong. And to let you know I am a very conservative republican and you are wrong in your profiling. ARent you kind of discriminating in your profiling?
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Such a calm, well reasoned essay on a divisive, emotionally fraught issue. Thank you!
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I trutly hope this makes it on here, I have read many comments and Find there are many of the opposing view, I think that its a very interesting idea of what you used here as context. For me I don’t struggle with weather homosexuality is a sin or not. So lets start from the premises of a Christian mind who does believe that Homosexuality is wrong.There are to many scriptures that bring the truth out for that one for me. I have some thoughts of my own as I struggled within myself to find foundation through scripture as to what I should think, do say on this topic. Here are some of my own thoughts, Lets say I did decide to bake a cake, Marry a homosexual couple, make there flowers, plan there wedding, take there pictures do any one of these things. By doing these things will it change the way someone who is homosexual think of God? Will it bring them closer to God? Will it show them that homosexuality is a sin?(remember we are basing this one a preconceived notion that to the person thinking this it is a sin( Would God reach them as far as them receiving salvation and realizing its wrong and being able to come to a place of repentance from it so they don’t get pulled back into it and the seed that was planted dies? If I do those things will it truly be showing Gods love? Will what I do bring God glory and will the reasoning behind it be known and go to him, is he the focus of what I am doing or is there a nother author…. I know that for me when I do something that is wrong the longer I do it the more Im prone to be a slave to my flesh and I am not suppose to be a slave to my flesh any longer but have been set free from being a slave to sin….Then on the other hand they will get service one way or another…I could have a chance to witness Christ to them by serving them in this regard…but then again would that really be serving them out of Love, Christ’s love…Would Christ himself in the flesh do this? I think what it really comes down to is personal conviction on right and wrong. See when someone belvies in something so much, it becomes there conviction they live by there convictions. I am grieved when I saw one of my best friends get into same sex relationships one right after another over and over…Know I know that not all homosexuals are like that some are for life just like not all heterosexuals run around…it truly is a fallen world that has not sense of right and wrong. Then I think its like sweeping wrong and right under a rug, lets stick our heads in the ground, so people can come to the point where there is no wrong or right, but actually wrong becomes right and right becomes wrong…and that’s kind of what scripture says happens towards the end of days ect. I still struggle with this who dilemma, as one who loves God with all her heart. Yet I feel so grieved by homosexual life style, because my personal believes…unless I find other confirmations in scripture and God gives me a heart revelation that homosexuality is not wrong but in fact was his destined plan all along that will never change. Yes how can I show his love. How can I show that I don’t agree with the life choices. We fight a battle that has been unbalanced in both areas, Christians going over a line and being hateful, hurtful and trying to do Gods job and be the garbage man, so many Christians have the idea that you cant lead a homosexual to Jesus because they are a homosexual…but yet you can lead a alcoholic, thief, liar, slanderer, adulterer, cheater, murderer to Christ, it makes me mad and saddened to see people wanting to play God. Let him be the one to draw someone and hes the one to reveal sin and give conviction. He’s the one who saves, we have this mentality we have to be sin free and perfect before we tell someone about christ and they can receive, we fight against not the homosexual for one who truly believes is wrong and its a bondage…its not the person but the enemy, for there are principalities, rulers and authority’s and wickedness in the heavenly realms….meaning demonic strong holds…however a whole another topic, point is we have forgotten to show love and how to show in a balanced way. Then you have the other side on the Christian fence who are way towards the other side, oh lets just sweep it under the rug, run with it, be supportive, they will come around, agree with it…even to the point where we over look scripture or even change it to fit the agenda, then we have the teaching that its in fact ok now, because of fear, pressure, not wanting opposition etc…Then you have the homosexual community that has done wrong as well by seeking out individual business ( its called harassment just the same) when they could have gone to the other ten businesses in the five mile radius that would have served them but nope they choose the one they could make trouble at. Or even asking a Christian bakery they know does not support homosexual weddings to bake a cake but not only that bake a cake with the wording ” I support homosexual marriage” on it…and thats just plan wrong on so many levels. Or disregarding what the word marriage means to those who hold a strong believe and having the definition changed, What im saying is its so wrong on so many levels in so many places for so many reasons.
What I have come to within myself Is…is there’s a way I can serve the homosexual, bi, transgender etc community by showing Love without overstepping my boundaries and convictions with God and feeling like a hypocrite in the process…the last thing I want to do is bake a cake, make floral, or be at a wedding taking pictures and feeling uncomfortable, condemned myself because I over stepped my own beleives or saddened in my heart cause I disagree.. Sure there are many ways…For instance I do a home ministry where I open my home up to people as they need it, I have a big home with a open lay out and a decent size yard. I would feel uncomfortable because of my personal convictions and a complete hypocrite if I opened it up to a homosexual couple when it came to anything pertaining to marriage…I just feel Id be sending the wrong message, just as I would never open my home to a keger, drug dealers, inappropriate parties of sexual nature or to sell items of those natures…etc I just couldn’t, it would be wrong to me..However If a homosexual couple needed a place to have a birthday party, grad party, retirement party, adoption party, Party party Parties…ha even a funeral etc…HECK YEAHs. I have no issue with that at all, In fact the lady behind me is homosexual/Christian…she has shared a lot with me and I am grateful and she has allowed me to share with her too, we have one heck of a time chatting over the fence lol, even though we may disagree on topics or things, her idea of God and life differs from mine what I love is that we can agree to disagree and be ok with it, its kind of a middle ground where you learn to let go and let God and ask God to help you to see things through his eyes and also to help you learn, that if any of your knowledge is wrong to show you his truth…its walking out your salvation with respect and honor for God and listening to him. I have no issues with loving and serving when it comes to that, no convictions what so ever, that’s going the extra mile, giving two when you ask me, But Is supporting, condoning, participating in truly sending the message of truth, Love? Will it truly bring forth change? Will it accomplish anything Good or only bring forth more sin, more wrong thinking, more condoning and make it more thought of as homosexuality being perceived as ok…These are just the things that I roll over in my mind, one from the thought process of one who has a typical view of homosexuality but who struggles to want to show true love and see them saved first, set free and bound for a eternal destination….
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Tracee, thanks for sharing your honest thoughts and struggles. I have shared some resources here that might be useful to you as you ponder these things.
Love,
Jessica
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My question to you would be simply, if you had a bakery business and you bake cakes for weddings, when you have a client come in, do you have them fill out a form listing all their sins and then you decide if you will serve them or not? Personally I do not believe that being gay is a sin and I am for gay marriage. But if I was not, I could not seriously consider myself Christian if I was baking cakes for couples who were living together before marriage and couples that have previously had divorces before remarrying, and then say that I would not bake a cake for a gay wedding. That is why this whole issue is so hypocritical and it is sending the message that Christians hate gay people. That is all people are hearing from this whole mess. It is so unloving in spirit. Unless any bakery decides they are going to treat everyone as equal, meaning they will make sure every couple they bake a cake for is going to live a perfectly sinless life, then they are just judging who is the biggest sinner in their minds. They will probably not stay in business long though.
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Very profound Tracee Thank you for the lesson in tact.
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[…] religion and legalism? I recently read an excellent ‘Cakegate’ article over on the blog Ten Thousand Places referencing Jesus’ sermon on the mount and his response to the (unpopular) Roman law of the […]
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Reblogged this on Roger Farnworth and commented:
I have just read this post from Jessica Kantrowitz. It is worth the attention it has been getting. It is challenging and helpful!
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It’s important that we lay down ourselves for our neighbor in love. That’s the point of this passage in Matthew 5:38-42. Sure, we have a constitutional right to refuse the service because we don’t support gay marriage. Just like we can refuse service to a naked person walking in the store. As Christians we are called to a higher standard than the US Constitution however.
While love is paramount, it goes hand in hand with standing up for what is true and right and good. To not do so is not truly loving. It’s important that we make a stand for the sanctity of marriage. When it comes down to baking a cake for a gay couple, the real question is, “How do I show the love of Christ in a way that doesn’t compromise the truth of Christ?” We don’t want to get unbelievers assuming that God is ok with homosexuality through our cheerful compliance with certain things, but we don’t want to cast judgement on unbelievers and construct another wall between them and God. I don’t think baking the cake is a simple issue, and I don’t think this situation fits very cleanly into this passage from Matthew 5. That’s my problem with this article. Jesus is making a list of ways in which people wrong you, and saying in the name of love not to fight back. Win them over by confusing them with love instead of malice, which they’d certainly expect. Being asked to bake a cake isn’t an instance of being wronged. I think baking it, as well as refusing to bake it, are both acceptable as long as you are communicating the truth of God’s love in what you do and say, and not casting judgement which is reserved for God.
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Is it possible to love them and yet refuse to bake the cake? It communicates judgement, no matter how you slice it. Pardon the pun.
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Very good reply, Jason.
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Jason, you said that the passage from Matthew 5 doesn’t entirely fit this situation, because “Being asked to bake a cake isn’t an instance of being wronged”. However, so much attention has been brought to this issue because some Christian bakers have gotten into trouble for refusing service. That means that those Christians are being forced/pressured to do something that they strongly believe they should not do. To those Christians, I think this is EXACTLY an “instance of being wronged”. Which makes the passage very appropriate to them.
To someone else, who doesn’t have a problem with the idea of baking a cake for a gay wedding, then this would NOT be an instance of being wronged – but those people would be baking the cake anyway.
However, there’s another situation – and this might be what Jason was getting at: What if there was no government force or pressure to bake the cake? What if a Christian baker could simply refuse the service, with no repercussions at all (which, of course, was pretty much the norm not to long ago)? That’s a situation in which Matthew 5 doesn’t really apply. However, like it or not, we’re no longer in that situation. Even if the government doesn’t force a Christian baker to bake a cake for a gay wedding which is analogous to the government soldier requiring an Israelite to carry his equipment), there is now so much societal pressure – which might be more analogous to being slapped in the face by a non-governmental person. If a Christian baker is being protested for refusing service, that baker (at least from their perspective) is being wronged.
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Thank you Jason. Perfect response, imo.
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I feel that when you reject people, tell them their money is no good, you present only hate. At that point nothing else can be seen. Only those who already agree with you could ever see this as “love”. I think far more paramount than if an unbeliever might think God was okay with homosexuality is the perception that being a Christian means hurting those that don’t agree with you.
Matthew 5 isn’t just about not fighting back against those who wrong you but to in fact actively love and help those people. Jesus isn’t suggesting complacency. And yes, to those who feel it violates their rights serving homosexual couples, etc, it is being wronged and burdened.
The question is clear: are we Pharisees or are we little Christs? Do we judge and stand upon hypocritical false superiority, or do we humble ourselves, trust God will see things right, and serve others as we are commanded.
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Your post is interesting, and in particular, this part:
“We don’t want to get unbelievers assuming that God is ok with homosexuality through our cheerful compliance with certain things, but we don’t want to cast judgement on unbelievers and construct another wall between them and God.”
I think many educated Christians have this view: to not cast judgements on the nonbelievers, but to simply tell them the “truth of God’s love.” As a gay Christian man, what stands out the most in your post is that God is not okay with homosexuality. And that’s a judgment call made by you! You may be convinced that you are merely uttering God’s words written on the Bible, but since you have actively made a choice to agree with that statement–you may call it truth–and to say it to someone (like me!), you are indeed making a judgment call. I have a hard time picturing a scenario where you refuse the cake-bake service to a gay couple, tell them that you are refusing to bake a cake for them because you think homosexuality is a sin, but that you are not judging them in any way and that you & God love them.
Let me ask you this. How DO you show the love of Christ in a way that doesn’t compromise the truth of Christ? What solutions, if any, do you have for loving, committed, monogamous gay couples? This is a serious question, and I’m very curious to hear what you have to say.
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I don’t think Jesus said people needed winning over by trying to hoodwink them into anything. Jesus was just saying that no matter what the situation, be the good hearted person. All this talk of what God would approve of, who are you to say you know? God may be well disappointed when all the judgemental Christians who hate gays get up to heaven and expect he should have known that they were just doing what he wanted when in reality he already sent Jesus out to spell it out for us. Love thy neighbour, turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, blessed are the suffering…how much more do people need? They keep going back to the old testament and the whole hell and fire of sodom and gemorrah, when really, Jesus came way after that. Are we following the word of Christ or arent we?
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These people were not asked to bake a cake as a favor. They are in the business of baking cakes. They are not in the business of judging souls. Do they bake cakes for divorced people who are remarrying? Do they bake cakes for people.chest on they’re taxes, lending money with interest, take the Lord’s name in vain, fail to show charity to the poor? Or do they think that only this sin counts? I say, if you’re in the business of baking cakes, bake cakes. If you don’t want to serve sinners, put up a sign saying so- but don’t expect to be in business very long.
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Well said.
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As a Christian is is our duty to refuse service to no one, even the naked person. It is our duty to clothe him and serve him. It is not for us Christians to judge the lives of others. To do so is vain and puts yourself before God.
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This is one of the best things I have read in a long long time. So clear, so easy to understand.
But, so hard for many to live by… And that is the main thing, be able to follow Christ path in every day life. It’s easy every Sunday to say amen, walk out and forget all about why Christ ended on a cross.
To be able to love that which hurt us or we disagree on, that is what it’s all about. Born again into the changed person of Love.
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Christ didn’t end on the cross.
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I just saw this blog and was Gobsmacked! God prompted me to write a blog on the exact same topic and I posted it Saturday morning. God must be busy planting this seed these days.
http://www.mycrosseyedview.com/?p=514
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As a Jew, I don’t share your religious views, however, I think the expression of your faith is beautiful. I do wish more people of all religions shared these views. I would add, sexual orientation is not a protected legal class, so discrimination is technically legal. Indiana is historic for this reason. I wish you well and wide spread readership. It would be a better world if you were on Sunday mornings instead of some of the charlatan evangelists.
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thanks for your amazing insight! we do get caught up in the stupid media even though we may not recognize it. christian is as christ does… you were so right to bring us back to following him in every way. it’s always about love… he’s always about love… we may not agree or condone, but we still need to love as he does. thank you for reminding us of that!!
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Reblogged this on Charissa's Grace Notes.
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So, I absolutely agree with the ultimate point, which is to show Christ’s love by loving ALL. But the problem with the use of the passage you selected is that things like going the second mile, turning the other cheek, offering your cloak and tunic — those were all intended to shame the powerful, and they’re all about nonviolent resistance to the status quo. If you walked the second mile for the Roman soldier, it put you in the position of power and would force the soldier to beg you for his pack back, as he would be shamed if anyone saw you performing more work than they are legally able to require. If you turned the other cheek after being slapped, it would cause them to hit you with the back of their hand (because they never would have used their left hand to hit your right cheek, since the left hand was unclean), which was an indicator of equality between the aggressor and the one being hit. If you gave someone your cloak and your tunic, you would be naked, and while being naked was shameful enough, it was even more shameful to have caused someone to be naked.
In our society, people who are LGBTQ are not the “powers that be” or the status quo. They are the ones being oppressed by the government with religious freedom laws like the ones in Indiana and plenty of other states. So while the concept of baking two cakes sounds good (and I would encourage any baker to do so, because who doesn’t like cake?), the entire point of Jesus’ message is to resist unjust laws by demanding equality and shaming the people who are oppressing you — and your analogy swaps the oppressor and the oppressed. I’m not sure what a better analogy would be. Maybe if you ask someone to bake you a cake for your wedding and they refuse, invite them to the wedding and give them a seat of honor? That would put the shame on them for refusing an invitation that was extended in spite of their judgment. Either way, we cannot equate our LGBTQ brothers and sisters with Rome, because they are so clearly not the ones in power in our society.
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That is an interesting perspective on what Jesus meant by going the extra mile. I have never heard it explained that way. I am curious as to where or how you have come to this interpretation. I have read it numerous times and have heard it preached on many more times that and never has it been explained as a power and shaming strategy. Just curious.
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Julie, Please recommend to me some more sites or resources where you found out about the unclean left hand. I only know of it being a Jewish concept and an Indian one.
Were you saying the Roman soldier saw his left hand to be unclean? They thought the Jews were equal to dogs; so why would they care about striking a dog with their dirty hand?
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Julie,
Please check out the culture behind the idea of piling up coals of fire on s.o.’s head. Sounds like torture s.o. until they confess, but I’m thinking not. What do you know about this? What can you find?
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Thank you for your well-reasoned and informative reply.
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I have never seen anywhere in the Bible where Jesus says, “Shame those who persecute you and who do you wrong” or “shame your enemies”. All I see is the word “Love” in shame’s place. “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matt. 5:44). Jesus came to spread a message of love, grace, and forgiveness, all of which frees us from shame. As Christians who seek to follow Christ, we cannot be looking for ways we can secretly shame those who hurt us, but how we can react the opposite way the world tells us we should: with love, grace, and forgiveness. That is Christ’s message.
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